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相互依存とは?相互依存の意味や特徴、メリット、実現ステップを解説 相互依存とは?相互依存の意味や特徴、メリット、実現ステップを解説
相互依存とは、相互協力であり、相乗効果を意図的に発揮している状態を指します。精神的に自立した人同士が協力することで、お互いの長所を活かし補完し合うことで、意図的に相乗効果を発揮できるようになります。相互依存を実現すれば、一人ひとりの能力を足し合わせた「足し算」の成果ではなく、「掛け算」の成果を生み出せるようになります。
相互依存は、スティーブン・R・コヴィー博士の著書『7つの習慣』で取り上げられている考え方です。『7つの習慣』は全世界4000万部を誇る大ベストセラーとして有名です。『7つの習慣』は、私たちが長い人生で長期的・継続的に望む結果を得続けるための原理原則が解説されています。その中で、個人が「自立」する先にあるものが「相互依存」であり、相互依存を実践することこそが『7つの習慣』のゴールであると言っています。
記事では、相互依存とは何か。どんな特徴やメリットがあるのか、そして、どのように実現できるのかを『7つの習慣』を基にして分かりやすく解説します。
7つの習慣の内容や効果については以下の記事で要約しています。
<目次>
相互依存とは?『7つの習慣』が示す人の成長ステップと最終ゴール
書籍『7つの習慣』では、人の成長を「成長の連続体」という概念で示しています。成長の連続体は、人の成長ステージとして、「依存」状態からはじまり、「自立」へと至り、最終的に「相互依存」を実現するという3つのステップが紹介されています。
まず人の成長ステージを示す3つのステージがそれぞれどのような状態なのか、最終的に目指す相互依存とは何かを解説します。
「依存」とは?
「依存」とは、他者に頼って自分では何もできない状態です。
例えば、小さい子供の頃は、保護者の助けがなければ生きていくことはできません。肉体的・物理的・経済的など、ほぼすべての面で依存しています。そこから、肉体的には徐々に成長します。また、就職などを通じて経済的な依存からも脱却する人が多いでしょう。ただし、社会に出ても新人のうちは上司や先輩から仕事を教えてもらわなければ何もできないでしょう。
こうして、さまざまな面で我々は徐々に依存状態を脱します。ただ、肉体や経済、スキルなど物理的な依存とは違うところで存在するのが精神的な依存です。
精神的に依存している状態とは、望む結果を手に入れることを周囲に頼っており、責任を引き受けていない状態です。周囲や環境に振り回されている状態であり、依存状態にいる人は、「あなたに面倒を見てほしい」、「結果が出ないのはあなたのせいだ」など、「あなた」や「状況」を主語にした言葉を使いがちです。
「自立」とは?
前述のとおり、人は依存状態のところから、やがて一人でできることが増えて、自立します。最初は歩けなかった赤ちゃんも、いずれ一人で歩いて遠くに行けるようになります。最初は仕事の右も左もわからなかった新入社員も、自分で判断して仕事を進めることができるようになるでしょう。このように自立は、自分で考え自分で行動できている状態をいいます。
『7つの習慣』で扱う精神的・人格的な自立も同様です。自ら考えて選択する、そして選択の結果を自ら引き受けることが精神的な自立です。自立した人は、「私はそれができる」、「〇〇は私の責任だ」「私が取り組む」など、「私」を主語にした言葉遣いをします。自立することで、状況や他者に対する依存から解放されて、周りの状況に左右されず、自分から働きかけることができるようになります。
「相互依存」とは?
「自立」は「依存」に比べると成熟した状態です。自立した人は、自分の力で目標達成や問題解決などさまざまな物事に対処できます。しかし、自立した人が得られる成果は、自分の能力の範囲内です。たとえ自分の能力を最大限に発揮できたとしても、得られる成果はせいぜい日頃の1.5倍程度ではないでしょうか。自分一人でどんなに頑張ろうとも、個人の力で5倍、10倍の成果を上げるのは、現実にはまず期待できないことです。
『7つの習慣』では、自立の先に「相互依存」という成長段階があるとしています。日本語で“依存”という単語はネガティブな印象があるかもしれませんが、相互依存とは、言い換えると相互協力であり、相乗効果の発揮です。
相互依存に達した人は、同じように自立した他者と好ましい人間関係を築き、他者と協力し合うことで、自分一人が生み出す結果をはるかに上回る結果を出せるようになります。
相互依存の人は「私たちはそれができる」、「私たちは協力し合える」、「私たちがお互いの才能と能力を合わせれば、もっと素晴らしい結果を出せる」など、「私たち」を主語にした言葉を使います。自立した人同士が協力することで、お互いの長所を活かし補完し合い、相乗効果を発揮できる状態が相互依存です。
相互依存へと成長するために大切な実現ステップ
『7つの習慣』では、「依存」から「自立」へ成長することを「私的成功」と呼び、第1~第3の習慣を実践することで私的成功が実現します。また、「自立」した人が「相互依存」に至ることを「公的成功」を表現し、第4~第6の習慣を実践することで、公的成功、つまり相互依存の実現にいたります。
本章では、相互依存の実現ステップとして、相互依存の前提条件、相互依存の人間関係を支える信頼口座の考え方、自立から相互依存へと成長するための公的成功の習慣を解説します。
自立という土台の上に相互依存が築かれる
相互依存を目指すための大前提は、個人としての自立です。依存の状態から、いきなり相互依存にはなれません。自立して個人の信頼性を高めてこそ、周囲と信頼関係を築き相乗効果を発揮することができます。
仕事に例えるなら、自分の担当業務すら満足にできない人が、他人の仕事を手伝おう、協力して大きなプロジェクトを実現しようといってもうまくいきません。また、約束を守れない人が、他者と良い関係を築こうとしても深い信頼関係を築くことはできないでしょう。
コヴィー博士は「私的成功は公的成功に先立つ」として、次のように解説しています。
自分自身をさておいて個性主義のテクニックやスキルで人間関係を円滑にすることだけに汲々としていたら、もっとも大切な人格という土台を崩してしまいかねない。根のない木に実はつかない。これは原則であり、ものには順序がある。私的成功は、公的成功に先立つ。自分を律し、自制することが、他者との良好な関係を築く土台になる。
スティーブン・R・コヴィー 「完訳 7つの習慣 人格主義の回復」より引用
主体的な考え方を身に付け、自分をコントロールできている人だけが、本当の意味で他者と良好な関係を構築することができます。自立という土台をしっかり整えたうえで、相互依存を目指す必要があるのです。
相互依存の人間関係を支える「信頼口座」の考え方
コヴィー博士は、相互依存を実現する第4~第6の習慣を実践する前に、「信頼口座の残高を高める」ということが大切だと述べています。相互依存は、他者と協力し合うことで全員がより大きな成功を手にできる世界です。
ただ、私たちは一人ひとり性格も違えば価値観も異なります。性格や考え方が異なる人間同士が協力し合ううえで欠かすことのできないのが、相手との信頼関係です。
コヴィー博士は『7つの習慣』の中で、相手との信頼関係を銀行口座にたとえて「信頼口座」と名付けています。銀行口座でお金の預け入れや引き出しが行なわれるのと同様に、私たちは信頼口座で「信頼」の預け入れや引き出しを行ないます。
預け入れた分だけ信頼が増えて、引き出した分だけ信頼が減ります。つまり、“信頼口座の残高”は“自分と相手の信頼関係”を表すバロメーターです。信頼口座の残高が十分にあれば、相手から信頼を得ており、深い協力関係を築くことができます。一方で、信頼口座の残高がなければ、相手からは信頼されておらず、協力関係を築こうとしても難しいでしょう。
私たちは完ぺきな存在ではありませんので、どんなに気を付けていても、人間関係のトラブルや誤解が生じてしまうこともあります。そんなときも、信頼口座に残高が十分貯まっていれば、人間関係が破綻することはありません。また、意見が分かれたとしても、「〇〇さんは、そういう考えなんだね」とお互い受け入れることもできるでしょう。
好ましい人間関係を築くためには、普段から信頼を預け入れて、少しずつ信頼口座の残高を増やしていくことが大切です。信頼口座に預け入れをする代表的な方法は、以下の6つです。
(1)相手を理解する
(2)小さなことを気遣う
(3)約束を守る
(4)期待を明確にする
(5)誠実さを示す
(6)過ちをしたときは誠心誠意、心から謝る
逆の行為をすれば、当然信頼口座の残高は引き出されます。信頼口座の預け入れは地道で時間がかかります。一方で、信頼は一瞬で失われてしまうこともあります。人間関係を支える基盤となる信頼口座を念頭に置いて、周囲の人と関わることが大切です。
相互依存を実現するための公的成功の習慣
自立、そして、信頼残高の預け入れをしていった先で、公的成功の習慣、すなわち第4~第6の習慣を実践することで、私たちは相互依存へと成長できます。第4~第6の習慣がどのようなものか、簡単に解説します。
第4の習慣「Win-Winを考える」
第4の習慣には、お互いが「Win(望む結果)」を手にするために必要となる考え方が書かれています。
Win-Winを実現するためには、「相手が勝てば自分は負ける」「相手の取り分が増えれば、自分の取り分は減る」という「勝ち/負け」ではなく、「相手も自分も勝つ状態を作り出せる」「相手と協力すれば取り分の総量自体を増やすことができる」という心構えを持つことが大切です。
第5の習慣「まず理解に徹し、そして理解される」
Win-Winの関係を築くには、相手を理解することが欠かせません。第5の習慣は、相手の話を聞き、相手の立場になって物事を考えて感じるという、相手を理解するための習慣です。第5の習慣では、相手を理解するための話の聴き方である「共感による傾聴」の実践を学びます。共感による傾聴を通じて、相手の心を開き、本当の意味で相手を理解できるようになります。
第6の習慣「シナジーを創り出す」
「シナジー」とは、個々を合わせたよりも大きな結果が生まれることを言います。1+1の合計を3にも10にもすることがシナジー、すなわち相乗効果です。
シナジーを発揮するカギとなるのが、自分と相手の「違い」を尊重し受け入れる姿勢です。違いを尊重しあい、コミュニケーションを重ねていくと、想像もできなかったアイデアを導き出すことができます。相手との違いこそが、自分だけでは生み出せない大きな成果を手にするカギとなります。
まとめ
今回の記事では、『7つの習慣』の相互依存を解説しました。
私たちは、望む結果を得ることを他者や環境にゆだねた「依存」の状態から、自分で選択して結果の責任を自ら引き受ける「自立」へと成長します。そして、他者と人間関係を構築して協力し合うことで、自分一人で生み出せるものよりも大きな結果を生み出す「相互依存」のステージへと至ります。
相互依存を実現するためには、まず第1~3の習慣を実践して「自立」の土台を築き、信頼残高を預け入れることで周囲との信頼関係を築いたうえで、
第4の習慣「Win-Winを考える」
第5の習慣「まず理解に徹し、そして理解される」
第6の習慣「シナジーを創り出す」
という公的成功の習慣を実践することが大切です。
記事の内容が、少しでも相互依存、相乗効果を生み出すヒントになれば幸いです。
株式会社ジェイックでは、7つの習慣を習得する研修を実施しています。フランクリン・コヴィー・ジャパン株式会社と正式契約しており、認定資格を取得した講師が研修を行います。ご興味のある方はぜひ以下のページよりお問い合わせください。
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株式会社ジェイック執行役員
古庄 拓
WEB業界・経営コンサルティング業界の採用支援からキャリアを開始。その後、マーケティング、自社採用、経営企画、社員研修の商品企画、採用後のオンボーディング支援、大学キャリアセンターとの連携、リーダー研修事業、新卒採用事業など、複数のサービスや事業の立上げを担当し、現在に至る。専門は新卒および中途採用、マーケティング、学習理論
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